Getting there

We ended up having lunch together. Before we went into the restaurant, we had a nice, long conversation in the parking lot. We frequently have our best conversations in the car for some reason, and it went well. I need to stay focused on the fact that this is not so much about me as it about his need to figure himself out and establish some more independence. When he was still living with his parents (before we met), he was more than happy to let his mom take care of his affairs - he really couldn't have cared less, and it made her feel better to do it. When we got together, I was more than happy to take over where she was leaving off, so he's never really done a whole lot in that regard. For example, it's only in maybe the last five years that he's started making his own doctor appointments. And me trying to maintain some control freaks him out because he wants to start doing things for himself.

Once we got inside, it was just so nice to be able to spend some time talking to him that I didn't actually mind that I didn't care for my food - I was out with my husband after five days of not seeing him. It was so nice to see him and be able to hug him and kiss him, but it was so hard to go home without him. I bawled most of the way home, and for a few minutes after I got home.

I have high hopes for this coming week - higher than I probably should. After a long, dreary winter, it is supposed to be sunny and in the high 40s/low 50s. Spring is on the way, and it's his favorite season. My husband + outside + nice early spring weather = Awesome moods and an improved outlook. Every year. I should start calling him my little crocus - at the end of winter/beginning of spring, he pokes his head up, looks toward the sun, and just shines. I'm really hoping the upcoming week will do him worlds of good.

As far as redecorating goes, I have a bunch of supplies, with some more on the way. I bought the paint for the bathroom this afternoon - leave it to a foodie to find a paint color named after food. Within the next couple of days, the bathroom will have a couple of fresh coats of "Fresh Biscotti."

I'm having some girlfriends over this weekend, and rather than us going out for dinner, I'll be making something yummy and healthy. Hopefully one of them will bring wine. ;)

Going to bed alone is still the hardest, and I go back to work on Monday. We'll see how that goes. I'm not really feeling up to it, but I'm out of paid leave, and I guess I have to go back sometime.